*Arrives at Jersey’s and Samone goes to bathroom

*She runs out ten minutes later and says, “i didn’t mean it! i was just trying to wash my hands and the handle fell off!”

I walk over to the bathroom and it looked like a fire hydrant went off and someone was taking a shower in the women’s public bathroom

the amount of fright we had that the place was going to flood was at it’s max

they even stopped taking orders and making pizza because of this

It didn’t even look like real life

I’m more concerned about my date not having a good time than I, on prom night.

*lifts ass up in the blocks*

*hears girl behind me*

'omg do you have an extreme wedgie or what is that????'

me: It’s a thong LOL

Anonymous: you're beautiful.

I luv you

'Savior with a salary
You put your hours in as a good girl and sex Is your living wage
But sex is not a transaction
It is not a handshake to seal a deal
You do not owe him anything’

My brother’s presence honestly makes me happy as shit.

'Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to, 
And love leaves exactly when love must. 
When love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.”
If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. 
Turn off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper, 
“Thank you for stopping by.”’

happy trails only lead to a happy place (;